Olivia Rodrigo – the grudge

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i have nightmares each week about that Friday in may
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one phone call from you and my entire world was changed
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 trust that you betrayed, confusion that still lingers
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you took everything i loved and crushed it in between your fingers

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and i doubt you ever think about the damage that you did but i
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hold onto every detail like my life depends on it
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 my undying love, now i hold it like a grudge
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and i hear your voice every time i think i’m not enough

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and i try to be tough, but i wanna scream, how could anybody do the things you did so easily
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and i say i don’t care, i say that i’m fine
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but you know i can’t let it go, i’ve tried, i’ve tried, i’ve tried
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for so long,  it takes strength to forgive but i  don’t feel
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   strong

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the arguments that i have won against you in my head
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in the shower, in the car, and in the mirror before bed i’m so
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 tough when i’m alone, and i make you feel so guilty
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and i fantasize about a time you’re a little fucking sorry

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and i try to understand why you would do this all to me
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you must be insecure, you must be so  unhappy
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and i know in my heart hurt people hurt people
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and we both drew blood, but man those cuts were never equal

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and i try to be tough, but i wanna scream, how could anybody do the things you did so easily
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and i say i don’t care, i say that i’m fine
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but you know i can’t let it go, i’ve tried, i’ve tried, i’ve tried
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for so long,  it takes strength to forgive but i don’t feel
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 strong

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 ooh,       do you think i deserved it all?
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 ooh,     your flowers filled with vitriol?
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you built me up to watch me fall, you have everything and you still want more

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i try to be tough i try to be mean, but even after all this, you’re still everything to me
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and i know you don’t care, i guess that that’s fine
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but you know i can’t let it go, i’ve tried, i’ve tried, i’ve tried
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for so long,  it takes strength to forgive but
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i’m not quite sure i’m there yet,  it takes strength to forgive but

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